In 1947, then Princess Elizabeth delivered a timeless and oft-quoted 21st birthday speech to the Commonwealth. In it, she pledged “my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong.” 73 years later, 68 of them on the throne, Queen Elizabeth II has been undoubtedly and unwaveringly true to her word. By all reported accounts, the Queen shows up daily and does her work. From managing formal government correspondence by way of those infamous red boxes, to a steady round of appearances supporting her hundreds of patronages, not to mention serving as Head of the Commonwealth, and Head of her Household, the Queen clearly has a deep-seated sense of duty.
The Queen’s sense of duty was of utmost importance to many involved in her upbringing. The princess needed to deeply understand her upcoming role and have no doubts that she would fulfill it. Her grandmother, Queen Mary, took a keen interest in helping to develop her sense of duty, hard work, humbleness and sense of service as did her parents. No one wanted a repeat of her uncle, The Duke of Windsor’s, abdication of the monarchy. So, the princess was subjected to a duty-focused messaging campaign from an early age. The only part of her education to cover government, her very thorough lessons on the constitution from the vice-provost of Eton, demonstrates the importance her family put on her fulfilling her duty. The princess also saw her parents fulfill her uncle’s duty at great personal cost, giving up the life they had planned to lead. She watched her father constantly battle his anxiety and stuttering to fulfill his duty. How much the Queen herself struggled with the decision to dedicate everything she is to the fulfillment of her duty we will never know. But what is clear is that she did decide and never looked back.
Duty, as I define it and as the Queen has embodied it, is a continuing, constant, selfless act. An obligation. Often colloquially defined as an outside-imposed obligation. This is true of the Royal family as it is for many institutions. However, unlike many, the Royal family’s members are born into the outside obligation, an obligation granted and imposed by the British people and the family itself– a charge to represent the best of them at home and abroad. It is not an individual choice. Members are expected, from birth or by marriage, to do their duty to the nation. Their reward? A life of privilege, certainly, but also an expectation of honor. That is a heavy burden, and one that requires an alignment between private and public lives which is a distinction most of us enjoy in life.
The Queen has worked to successfully align her life to her duty over the course of her reign. Her constitutional and patriotic duty lines up, and is synergistic with, her faith, her family, and her social circles. Her success in aligning life and duty now means she is supported in the performance of her duty by the people and institutions around her. The Queen’s deep-seated dedication to her duty, coupled with its alignment to her life have helped to give her near-infinite resilience. It is this resilience, that has undoubtedly given her the drive to continue to show up as a leader when times are hard.
What does this mean for the rest of us with relative free will to do as we please? How can one establish a sense of duty for oneself? Well, people are not obligated to have a sense of duty to just one ideal. Not usually, anyway. That’s what makes life dramatic. We have competing senses of duty that enable some flexibility. Whether it be to humanity, to God, to our nation, to family, to work, to oneself – just to name a few. I think they can build on each other and when they are all focused together can be quite powerful and enabling. The key is to develop synergy between duties, because if a crack forms it can all come tumbling down and makes being a resilient person more difficult.
For Royally-sourced guidance, we need only look to Prince Harry who, for example, does not seem to have alignment in his sense of duty. He has a sense of duty to his monarch, his country, the armed forces, his family, and humanity, many of which at times seem to be in conflict with each other, unlike the Queen’s. Prince Harry’s decision to pull his family back from formal royal duties has been subjected to a media barrage of shame. Everyone has an opinion on what a prince’s duty should be. The difficulty for Prince Harry seems to be one of institutional constraints preventing him from fulfilling his duty in the way he would like, rather than a deeper disagreement of worldview with his extended family. Hopefully, Prince Harry now has the space to figure out his own way and to review his different possibilities to find the most effective means of synergy between his inherited duty and his personal sense of duty.
We, like Prince Harry, have to find the balance in our competing responsibilities, to discover and solidify our overall sense of duty. Most of us do not have over-arching constitutional guidance on where our personal duty lies. How do we identify what is most important or understand where our loyalties lie? Our definition of duty can be found in our actions, as our actions often demonstrate our sense of duty. We may not even know to whom it is owed until we act. It’s okay if it is tightrope act, I think. Duty must be built on solid values that can stand the tests of life. It must be bigger than the moment and the current people. Otherwise one’s sense of duty is easily lost or shifted.
Defining your duty for yourself may make you and others around you uncomfortable. People and institutions want you to align with their definition of duty so you do the work they think is important, especially if you are a prince. But, finding this alignment in duty helps us be effective in the world. I’m not sure how we find it, but I know we need to look beneath the surface to be certain. We must examine the uncomfortable conflict in multiple duties and look deep within to see which are most important and most deserving of our dedication. Without that knowledge, we will never be certain we are doing the right thing and be subject to the influence of other people’s sense of our duty, rather than our own.
In writing this, I have been thinking about how this applies to myself and where my duty lies. I am not certain I fully know. I have spent a lot of my life giving my duty to institutions outside of myself, but I think underneath my sense of duty to the institutions was perhaps a mostly transactional sense of duty. I will hold up my end of the bargain as long as the institution holds up its end. If not, we will part ways amicably. Certainly, not a life-long sense of duty like I feel for my family members or even the pets I have had. I have a lot more personal exploration of this topic to do to see how my familial sense of duty corresponds with my broader sense of duty to humanity and my communities. An interesting and worthwhile pursuit, I think.
In re-reading the Queen’s 21st birthday speech, I was struck by several things. The most important being a sense of service done together. She dedicated herself to serve the people of her nation and commonwealth and called on the youth of the day to do the same – to take up where the elders no longer could. And I think she gets to see that service frequently during her visits around the world and to her patronages. This must give her a strong sense of reward and purpose. No matter what is going on in the world or the government, she spends a lot of time with people who contribute to community and who try to improve their world. This humbleness and reward are strengtheners to the Queen’s long-term sense of duty.
Being certain and dedicated to our duty can bring purpose and fulfillment, but duty can destroy us. Duty can cause us to work too hard and give too much. It only makes us resilient when paired with other things that bring balance – like community, humbleness, faith, and rest. Future posts will address ways in which Queen Elizabeth II balances her life for long-term service. A sense of service and duty are important for our resilience, but without balance are unsustainable.
